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[LMBTO] 8-4. Saving Princess Peach or My Next Eurovision Rankings?

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No, that's not Princess Peach, the target of Mario's affections in Super Mario Bros. - the title reference was my subtle way of flagging up that this post shows off my rankings between number 8 and 4.  The lead picture however links to my number 13 selection, that of Koit Toome and Laura from Estonia, looking as they should do to emote exactly like the lyrics of "Verona".  That was my main reflection on this entry - do they do that and risk it looking all maudlin or lighten it up but lose the connection with the song itself?  I'm glad that I'm not the Estonian delegation, making that decision...

So now we are fully ensconced within my top ten, with the final two of the big five, two from SF1 and one from SF2 within this post.  Numbers 4 and 5 were EXCELLENT (9-10) as far as I was concerned and could easily be in my top three whereas 6,7 and 8 were damn near that standard.  All of these songs I expect to see in the Final (obviously two of them will be anyway) so onwards and upwards!

My first clue for these five was:

Brides and Grooms plus The Running Man - What's not to like?

You'll have got this instantly if you watched their NF...


8. Moldova



It's all about the NF staging, that's why I love this entry so much and that is why "Hey Mamma!" is in my top ten.  As the clue says (and there's more), this entry has:

Brides and Bridegrooms
'Epic Sax Guy' Sergey Stepanov
The quirky right leg dance and swivel
The Running Man Dance
The bouquets doubling as microphones for the female backing singers, 
allowing them to do the 'bridal fling'
The charisma of Sergei Yalovitsky leading the troop with his vocals
Anton Ragoza with his lit violin

If this is not the staging for Kyiv then the Moldovan delegation will have 'dropped the ball' - unless they can make it better!  Is that possible?  Will there be yet another segment for Epic Sax Guy to get even more memes out of Eurovision?


Not sure they could beat this but match it maybe...

I have to say that involving any of the staging from the official video would be an absolutely massive mistake, however:



Very, very sleazy - it incorporates some of the best bits of the NF but having this verge on the edge of glamour devalues the fun and freshness of the song itself.  I have to admit that this is possibly one of my least favourite videos this season, putting it down with Slavko's 'gay glamour' extravaganza!

But Moldova are in 8th place in my rankings in spite of the official video - the routine in the Moldovan NF was superbly choreographed, it was a delight to watch and it made me laugh in a good way!  If that is used, the routine will stick in viewers minds for sure, younger internet savvy voters will remember Epic Sax Guy (I am 100% certain that every commentator will mention that he is in Sunstroke Project) and older viewers like me will marvel at the Running Man synchronicity!  The song itself?  It's not that difficult to listen to:

Hey, hey you
You will never hide what you think of me
I see your clue
Know, you worry, but it don’t meant to be

Hey, hey you
It’s your girl and maybe should sleep at home
But I’ll steal her alone

And I say
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
I’m not that unfounded boy
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
All it keeps going round and round

Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
If you knew me you’d be surprised
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
She’ll be back home till sunrise

Like the sun in the sea
She will disappear tonight with me
And I will not anymore
Do what other guys did before

Hey, hey you (Hey you)
It’s your girl and maybe should sleep at home
But I’ll steal her alone

And I say
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
I’m not that unfounded boy
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
All it keeps going round and round

Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
If you knew me you’d be surprised
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
She’ll be back home till sunrise

(Mamma, mamma, ma…)
(Mamma, mamma, ma…) Oh, mamma, mamma, ma…
(Mamma, mamma, ma…)
(Mamma, mamma, mamma)

(Mamma, mamma, ma…)
(Mamma, mamma, ma…) Oh, mamma, mamma, ma…
(Mamma, mamma, ma…)
(Mamma, mamma)

And I say
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
I’m not that unfounded boy
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so down
All it keeps going round and round

Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
If you knew me you’d be surprised
Mamma, mamma, don’t be so mad
She’ll be back home till sunrise

Hey mamma, hey mamma, hey mamma ma…
Hey mamma, hey mamma, hey mamma ma…
Hey mamma, hey mamma, hey mamma ma…
Hey mamma, hey mamma (Hey bababa…)

Hey mamma, hey mamma, hey mamma ma…
Hey mamma, hey mamma, hey mamma ma…
Hey mamma ma…

And the words 'hey', 'mamma' and 'ma' will get stuck in your head, as is the want of all good fun party songs, as "Hey Mamma!" is.  The music is infectious, if a little predictable given that they HAD to get a sax solo in there somewhere but it is as a staging whole that this entry works supremely well:

Just watch the NF again...
just tell me that the routine for the three minutes isn't spot on perfect!

A veritable feast for the eyes, as every reviewer has said ever...I have this as my fourth qualifier in SF1 and my three point selection - it was another 8.0/10 on first watch, rather than listen.  This entry is a challenger to Belarus and Italy for the "Most Fun Song" award and I really think that this not being in the Final would spoil the party atmosphere that could be generated if something like "Hey Mamma!" is there.  I can guarantee that if it is there on Saturday night and is drawn in the first half, this will open the show and give everyone a great big kick up the backside!  Come on Europe (and Australia), don't let me down...

From a party tune at number eight to something a lot more chilled - my clue...

Smooth and Mellow - is John Legend in Kyiv?

Okay, you get the gist...


7. Austria



There's not many better places to shoot your official video outdoors than in the Austrian Alps, is there?  Spectacular views, a slightly naff storyline (barely) but this is all about introducing Nathan Trent, a good looking guy, with a wonderful voice, singing a smooth, pleasant, chilled song.  I have to say that he should be wearing a thicker coat, gloves and hat - he'll catch his death of cold...

Now part of the reason for my having "Running On Air" so high in my rankings is the wonderful laid back feel of the song, reminiscent of Ed Sheeran or my closest ideal, John Legend.  I could imagine that maestro giving this a go and getting similar results - the one thing that Nathan does have in his locker, like the artists mentioned previously, is a superb live voice that will stand him in good stead in Kyiv.  There are loads of great examples of this on the net - I'll pick the first time I heard his voice and then the latest...




Come on, this guy is absolutely amazing and he has a lot of visual appeal, bundles of on stage charisma and seeing him being interviewed, he is an amazingly grounded and nice guy.  Austria struck it lucky when they convinced Nathan to sing for them rather than let him risk not being selected during the German NF process - ironically he has sung with Levina too:



His main appeal is his interaction with the audience, with his looking right down the camera and 'acting' being top notch.  The lyrics are fairly straightforward - the spirit of them are almost on a par with "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba - why?  It's all just another way of saying "I get knocked down but I get up again", isn't it?

 It’s been a long time running
‘Cause I had some things to see
I had to meet some people
Who were there to believe in me

I’m taking all that struggle
Reminds me what I’m fighting for
I’m living it up, I ain’t gonna stop
Till I make that final score

And I’ll keep running as fast as I can
I’ll keep running
I won’t stop, I won’t stop, no no

Hey now, if you push me down I’ll get up again
Hey now, if you let me drown I’ll swim like a champion
I’m sure there’ll be good times, there’ll be bad times
But I don’t care ’cause I’m running on air
(Running, running) Yeah

Give me a million reasons
But my answer stays the same
You can try to put me in a box
But I’m doing it my own damn way

See I can’t stand them talkers
All pretending that their lives’ a mess
‘Cause whatever you want, whatever you need
You gotta get off your…

And I’ll keep running as fast as I can
I’ll keep running
I won’t stop, I won’t stop

Hey now, if you push me down I’ll get up again
Hey now, if you let me drown I’ll swim like a champion
I’m sure there’ll be good times, there’ll be bad time
But I don’t care ’cause I’m running on air

Hey, I’m running on air
Running, running on air
(Oh whoa… oh whoa…) Running, running
Now I don’t care

Hey now, if you push me down I’ll get up again
Hey now, hey now

Yeah… (Oh whoa… oh whoa…)
You can push me, push me down
(Oh whoa… oh whoa…) Hey now
But I’ll get up again

I’m sure there’ll be good times, there’ll be bad time
But I don’t care ’cause I’m running on air

I really cannot see how Mr Koll (real surname) will fail to qualify out of SF2 with this song.  "Running On Air" is an anthem as far as the lyrics are concerned and it needs to be listened to so you get the full experience, which might be the major drawback to it being in Eurovision.  Nathan's job is to get the crowd and viewers involved in the whole show, join in with his enthusiasm, connect with his joy and energy - the climax of his vocals 'going to eleven' will hopefully be enough to get him the points to get to the Final.  Given the material that I have seen him sing, he will be an artist I will keep an eye (and ear) on after Kyiv, as I think he will have a career in front of him.  This was another 8.0/10 for the SECHUK Jury - my second place in SF2 and my four pointer.  I think that pure class like this deserves at least a Saturday night showing...

We're now just outside my top five - my clue for number 6?

The Slickest Routine This Year

Now you know how I like my visuals - this was something special...


6. Sweden



Every time I watch this, I spot something new that adds a little bit extra to this, the best worked routine that I have seen at any NF this year.  Like Moldova's entry, the song itself isn't a classic but the choreography is absolutely amazing...
  • Starting the routine backstage amongst all the big equipment trunks - has anyone ever done that before?  It has a massive impact on the whole entry and its unique nature will be a vote winner, as everyone will remember 'That Start'.  As long as he knows which way to go - we wouldn't want a Spinal Tap moment, would we:
  • The buttoning up of Robin's jacket, with a mystery arm coming into shot and holding the mic whilst he does so;
  • The four guys that Robin has with him, all dressed identically, all dancing in sync but all having their own poses and moves;
  • The huge crescendo of noise as Robin and the guys enter the back of the stage;
  • They all stride purposefully onto the treadmills and perform a solid watchable routine (if a little basic, compared to OK Go):
  • The camerawork is absolutely top notch - the switches from front to back view are superb but nowhere near as great as the panning of the camera alongside the stage;
  • The 'OK' sign co-ordinated with the 'Freaking Beautiful' line; 
and the final subtle touch to top them all...
  • Polka dots on Robin's tie matched by the polka dots on the dancers socks!
If Sweden use much the same routine in Kyiv (and I have seen Robin quoted as saying that will be the case), I could see this giving that nation their coveted seventh win, admittedly a little unexpectedly when this was first shown at Melodifestivalen.  There is one standout favourite this year (here's a spoiler - it's my number 4) but if this is another "Eurovision 2011", where the red hot favourite bombed, the race for this year's title would be wide open and "I Can't Go On" would be one of the main contenders for the prize, based mainly on this routine and Robin's on stage persona.  The song itself is very basic and quite repetitive:

I can’t go on, I can’t go on
Gotta keep it together
Don’t get me wrong, don’t get me wrong
‘Cause baby, you make me better, hey

With just one look you make me shiver
I just wanna take you home
Wanna go, yeah I wanna go

Now girl, you make me a believer
I wanna take off all my clothes
Wanna go, you make me wanna go

I just can’t go on no more
When you look this freaking beautiful
Oh, hands down to the floor, my love
And I’m doing whatever you want

I can’t go on, I can’t go on
When you look this freaking beautiful
I can’t go on, I can’t go on
When you look this freaking beautiful

You’ve got me good, you’ve got me good
And I’m not going nowhere
Right in your hook, that’s understood
But I’mma take you somewhere

I just can’t go on no more
When you look this freaking beautiful
Oh, hands down to the floor, my love
And I’m doing whatever you want

I can’t go on, I can’t go on
When you look this freaking beautiful
I can’t go on, I can’t go on
When you look this freaking beautiful

So freaking beautiful
Baby, I just can’t go on

I can’t go on, I can’t go on
I can’t go on, I can’t go on
When you look this freaking beautiful

I can’t go on, I can’t go on
I can’t go on, I can’t go on
When you look this freaking beautiful

So freaking beautiful
Baby, I just can’t go on

But sometimes repetitiveness brings memorability -  the chorus here sticks in your head which, along with that amazing routine, will land loads of marks in Sweden's lap.  How many is the question - I think that this is a nailed on top ten, a probable top five and a possible winner if the gods are smiling on the current 'Kings of Eurovision'.  I gave this an 8.5/10 for the SECHUK Jury and third in SF1 - the entry as a whole is a winner for me and this makes for excellent television.  Having watched him at the promo Parties without treadmills and dancers, he still sung this spot on so the minor part of this entry (the vocals) is sound - I can only hope that nothing much is changed for Kyiv with the three minutes visually, as this is spot on and one of the best routines ever constructed for the Contest...my five pointer.
    Here we go, we have reached my top five for this year - my clue for number five:

    The Best Entry For My Nation Since 2009

    As a Brit and writing a blog from a British perspective, it's a bit bloody obvious who this will be!


    5. United Kingdom



    Yes, bold statement perhaps but I don't think it's that outrageous to say that Lucie Jones and "Never Give Up On You" are at least on a par with Jade Ewen and "It's My Time" that got the UK fifth place in Moscow.  I would even go as far as to say that our 2017 entry is one of the best in the 21st Century, perhaps only led by Jessica Garlick.  You all know that I was there in Hammersmith, watching this amazing singer win the right to go to Kyiv and represent the UK, giving this superb live performance:



    By far the best singer and song on the night, it is a shame that Lucie has not been in the public eye as much as other artists have been this year but her theatre commitments with Rent have restricted her movement around Europe.  We will never know if that will make a difference or not with voters and jurors but hopefully that voice will say it all for our entry this year.  There are no clues as to how this will be staged in Kyiv - compared to two of my selections in this post, it should be simplicity itself!  Will we be going the 'stripped back, extremely basic' show like the NF, with Lucie singing and emoting to the camera, no bells, no whistles?  Or will there be some components from the revamp version in the stage show:



    Different outfits and makeup aside, I am hoping that there are no tricks or gimmicks this year from the BBC - leave the LEDs with Electro Velvet and no selfie backdrops this year, just Lucie on stage, alone with a spotlight on her, singing her heart out.  Lucie left the audience at the UK NF spellbound with a show that took this song to a higher level than expected - could we have the 'Lena Effect' again this year?  Make this an old style Eurovision performance - make sure she looks stunning in a stylish dress that fits perfectly, nothing to detract from the main selling point of this entry:

    Lucie Jones, her voice and her emotional delivery to camera

    Lucie has a big advantage over a lot of the artists this year - singing on stage to an audience is her day job, twice a day for 5 days a week at least, she has been the lead in several musicals and therefore knows how to deal with the pressure of getting the song right every single time.  She can emote perfectly, she has a great acting face and pours the power and intensity of the lyrical meaning through to the viewer every time:

    Tell me your secrets, I’ll keep them safe
    No sign of weakness, it’s a sign of faith
    We’ll stand tall so you don’t fall

    You’re not defeated, you’re in repair
    Don’t have to call me, I’ll always be there
    We’ll stand tall so you don’t fall

    If you could see how far you’ve walked
    You would see that all’s not lost

    I will never give up on you
    I don’t care what I’ve got to lose
    Just give me your hand and hold on
    Together we’ll dance through this storm

    I will never give up on you
    You’re the one that I’m running to
    Just give me your hand and hold on
    Together we’ll dance through this storm

    Under the surface I see you glow
    I’m right beside you, you’re never alone
    Don’t let go when you’re so close

    If you could see how far you’ve walked
    You would see that all’s not lost

    I will never give up on you
    I don’t care what I’ve got to lose
    Just give me your hand and hold on
    Together we’ll dance through this storm

    I will never give up on you
    You’re the one that I’m running to
    Just give me your hand and hold on
    Together we’re dancing through

    This madness we’re running through
    There’s magic, it’s inside of you
    It’s madness, it’s madness

    Now you can see how far you’ve walked
    The mountains climbed, the oceans crossed

    I don’t care what I’ve got to lose
    Just give me your hand and hold on
    Together we’ll dance through this storm

    I will never give up on you
    You’re the one that I’m running to
    Just give me your hand and hold on
    Together we’ll dance through this storm

    How can words like that not touch your soul?  Hopefully the arena in Kyiv will have its noise turned down when Lucie sings in the Final so that the true beauty of this entry will be there for everyone, juror and viewer alike, to behold.  This could be one of those wow moments that comes along every so often, if this appears clean and minimalistic on stage.  Lucie needs no treadmills, no Epic Sax Guy, not even a gorilla - she is one of the best vocalists this year and if the look of this entry is right, just say this in hushed tones....

    "I'll Never Give Up On You" could be a dark horse entry, one for the win

    Based on my first experience of this entry, I gave this my first 9.0/10 for the SECHUK Jury, my first EXCELLENT rating of the season - at the moment, before we get any clue as to the staging of the UK entry, this is up there in 2017 for best vocal performance and that is why I love the UK entry so much this year.  Lucie is also a fun person and very engaging in every interview that I have seen her in - I suspect that she will be a very popular interviewee in Kyiv, hopefully amongst mainstream as well as Eurovision press.  In this run down, even though this is my home nation, the UK would be my six pointer...

    And so onto my number 4 - you've already had a big clue earlier on but my first clue was:

    Will That Clunky Edit Affect This Probable Winner?

    This was my number 2 until the 30 second cut...


    4. Italy



    Now this was the version that got a near perfect rating from me, a 9.0/10 for the SECHUK Jury, the top of the 9's, second only to my number one this year (who you'll get to see in my final rankings post, not before).  Yes, it's staged superbly well but it's more than just a smiling man singing in Italian, dancing with a gorilla.  This is another 'whole package' song and it works on so many levels:

    Francesco has bags of on stage charisma and charm
    Even though it's in Italian, the song is catchy and an instant earworm
    The music has loads of hooks, lots of twists and turns, a crowd pick-up
     and a better flow than a cascading waterfall!
    The simple dance routine lends itself to audience participation
    And there's a dancing gorilla (because of the lyrics)

    Yes, those lyrics - "Occidentali's Karma" as a title would suggest that this isn't a simple song as far as the words are concerned and you'd be spot on (there are a few different translations on the net):

    To be or need to be 
    Doubt Hamlet 
    Contemporary as the man of the Neolithic 
    In your cage 2x3 sit back 
    Intellectuals in cafes 
    Internettologi 
    honorary members of the Anonymous group selfisti 
    Intelligence is démodé 
    Responses easy 
    unnecessary dilemmas

    WANTED (looking yes) 
    Stories from the grand finale 
    Spèrasi (hopefully yes) 
    Whatever you do panta rei 
    And singing in the rain

    Lessons of Nirvana 
    There is the Buddha in single file 
    for every hour of air, of glory (ale) 
    The crowd shouts a mantra 
    The evolution stumbles 
    The naked ape dances 
    West's Karma 
    West's Karma 
    The naked ape dances 
    West's Karma

    Raining drops of Chanel 
    on bodies aseptic 
    Save yourself the smell of your fellow 
    All spin doctors with web 
    Coca peoples' 
    opium of the poor

    WANTED (yes search) 
    Virtual Humanity 
    Sex appeal (sex appeal) 
    Whatever happens panta rei 
    And singing in the rain

    Lessons of Nirvana 
    There is the Buddha in single file 
    for every hour of air, of glory 
    the crowd shouts a mantra 
    the evolution stumbles 
    the naked ape dances 
    West's Karma 
    West's Karma 
    the dance naked ape 
    Western Karma's

    When life gets distracted men fall 
    West's Karma 
    West's Karma 
    the monkey gets up 
    Namasté alé

    Lessons of Nirvana 
    There is the Buddha in single file 
    for every hour of air from glory 
    the crowd shouts a mantra 
    the evolution stumbles 
    the naked ape dances 
    West's Karma 
    West's Karma 
    the naked ape dances 
    West's Karma

    For sheer complexity of poetic construct, this song has to be winning some awards this year, even if for some reason it didn't actually win Eurovision!  The whole premise being about Western Europe taking culture from other parts of the world and calling it their own, utilising it in a cheap and superficial way, is not your standard fayre for a Eurovision song, or any other musical environment for that matter!  The fact that this won Sanremo shows that the intellectual appeal for the jurors was matched by the fun and charisma enjoyed by the public.  Everything came together and the result was a very popular winner and an entry deservedly installed as Eurovision favourite, something that this song hasn't lost to this day.  I love the cheekiness of the singer, his connection with the crowd and the camera, the inclusion of the silly but effective dance, having a gorilla on stage to poke fun at the dancing 'naked ape', the orchestra interaction, the superbly crafted music that works on its own, bringing together orchestra and popular instruments...
    So why did this entry drop from my number two to my number four?  Having to lose 37 seconds from the original worried me - where could this time be lost and something so perfect not suffer?  There was the reference to Chanel that would have to go (being a brand name) but not being a songwriter or producer, I couldn't see where anything could be lost.  They managed it but for me it has diminished, only slightly, from what was almost perfection...



    Yep, it's lost the whole Chanel verse and to be honest, during this video, it doesn't sound that bad.  If you were hearing this for the first time, you wouldn't realise that there was something missing, that this was once a longer song.  We're not talking the worst edit in pop music history here (go to 2:30):



    But in London, whether it was a mistake or whether it was just Francesco testing how singing the shorter version sounded if he more or less stopped at the edit point, the cut did sound pretty obvious (1:04):



    I used this video as it has as its grab THE BEST PICTURE YOU WILL SEE THIS YEAR of an artist in front of their adoring fans.  Great, hey?  Yet in Amsterdam, it is nowhere near as obvious and almost matches the YouTube sensation official video (1:28):



    This is all such a tiny bugbear for me and I don't know why it matters so much, as 99.99999% of the jurors and voters won't be aware or even care about the edit point (although the trained ear will notice that the natural flow of the song stalls momentarily there) and vote accordingly.  This is still:

    The One To Beat in Kyiv

    Quite frankly it has everything you could want from an entry - the visuals, the music, the singing, the staging.  Possible reasons that this might not win?  If Francesco screws up either of his performances in the Final would be one, à la Amaury Vassili in 2011.  Another would be the public not 'getting it', just seeing this as an Italian singing in his native tongue and dancing around with a man in a gorilla costume on stage, wondering if this could be a joke entry.  If that happens, that would be a massive disappointment and would surely dissuade any songwriters from penning entries with intellectual sub-plots in future.  If this doesn't win then Eurovision 2017 is blown wide open!  My score for this has not changed but there are now THREE songs I like more than this out of the 42, rather than just the one...my seven pointer at this stage.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    39 songs down, only three to go - by a simple process of elimination, you should be able to work out which three they are!  I wasn't sure that giving clues was necessary at this stage but finish what you started and all that...

    The Best Harmonies At Eurovision Ever?
    Communauté Française Nail It Again
    Not Since Quédate Conmigo Have I Felt My Spine Tingle Like This!

    Who will get my 8, 10 and 12 points this year before we get to the Kyiv rehearsals?



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