[LMBTO] Rugby League score? No, just my Eurovision rankings, 38 - 34

You know how you try to see the best of a Eurovision entry, even one you dislike intensely and then someone else says something that makes that good thing drain away.  Seeing that visually Ilinca is by far and away the best thing about "Yodel It!" in my opinion, that thought wasn't helped by Eurovision pundit and Facebook friend Lisa-Jayne Lewis saying that her outfit made her look like one of Santa's Elves!  Really not helping, Lisa-Jayne - I'm trying to see any positive in Romania's entry and you shot it down!

Anyway, my first rankings article appears to have gone down very well, judging by the number of views it had, so I will milk it for now by moving up my list, from number 38 up to 34 (five at a time, just to stretch it out nicely whilst intermingling them with some Pre Party material).  Now I gave you all a teaser for the five entries in this segment - number 38 was:


A little bit easy that one...


38. Montenegro



When two women with no interest in Eurovision watch this video and both sum it up as "it is all bit gay porn, isn't it?", it potentially doesn't bode well for Montenegro as far as potentially securing a televote outside of core Eurovision fans is concerned.  When Slavko was announced as the Montenegrin representative and some of his artistic portfolio was published:
It wasn't a real surprise that the official music video turned out the way it did!  To be fair to him, the poses, the pouts and the semi-nakedness all fit in perfectly with the euphemism-packed lyrics to "Space":

What with all the wet dreams and explosions coming everywhere, the acting in the video is actually spot on but it is not really to my taste, even if I can see that he is a good looking guy who works out.  Then again, I'm not Slavko's demographic - all of the prancing about and swinging of his monstrous extension (see, I can do innuendo as well) just left me cold.  "Space" does have some positives in that it definitely adds to the diverse nature of the 2017 entries and is one of the few really uptempo pop songs in Kyiv.  I suspect that he will go down a storm at Euroclub and with the audience in the venue on SF1 night but I fully expect this to be a 'one show' entry.  The only way that this might scrape into the Final is if Slavko's live vocals are actually clearer than those on the video and if the staging is truly phenomenal.  I suspect that this will go down a storm on social media as there will be nothing else like this in Kyiv and that might garner it some more televotes but nearly not enough to get out of his semi (no, not another euphemism).  My score of 4.5/10 for the SECHUK Jury really put it down there with others that I felt would not make it to the Final...

Onto number 37 and my clue last time was pretty weak but that sums up this entry too:


Now I look at it again, it might even be a dress...


37. Lithuania



The whole Lithuanian selection process seems to go forever each year and apart from when they have selected Donny Montell, the end result always seems to disappoint.  I have to admit that as „Eurovizijos“ is always so damn convoluted, I did not watch a single episode of their NF this season and to be totally honest with you all, I feel that I have saved myself a lot of time and effort if "Rain Of Revolution" is the best that was available in 2017.  Of all the artists who have won their NFs this year, the live lead vocals by Viktorija are, for me, the weakest of any.  She definitely needed the assistance of her backing singers, who added a nice dynamic harmony and even memorability when it came to the chorus but that was really about it.  The other positive here was the backdrop staging - lots of lights and sparks in the background which tied in nicely with the song itself but not with the band's performance.  Viktorija striding around the stage, ducking down and around and about made the camerawork a strain to watch and added absolutely nothing to the performance.  I have listened to this numerous times and I still cannot make out the lyrics either so I cannot tell what the song is actually about.  And I still don't know if that is a coat or a dress she is wearing...
As I am writing this review, I am realising that I have probably overmarked Lithuania's entry this year - I really don't know where I got 5.0/10 for this one when grading it for SECHUK!  "Rain Of Revolution" is in SF2 - that is definitely where it is going to stay and all that effort by Fusedmarc's nation in selecting them will have been for naught yet again.


So onto number 36 - my clue was hinting at the time of year this artist won her selection process:


No reference to The Pogues or Kirsty MacColl - although if they had entered Eurovision, the craic would have been amazing...


36.  Armenia



One of the first artists to be confirmed for Kyiv, the last to show off her Official Video just a week ago.  Being one of the few that followed Depi Evratesil from start to finish and knowing what Artsvik is capable of, my verdict on "Fly With Me"?


Maybe the problem is that I know what she can really do with her voice, how she can deliver any power ballad you want magnificently well and how she blew all comers away in Armenia with the same technique week after week - stand there and blast it out!  Here's my favourite example - her rendition of "Stand Up For Love":



If she had a song in Kyiv that allowed her to totally let rip, let everyone hear her whole vocal range and allow her to be able to portray all of her facial emotion doing so, I would have had Armenia as a definite qualifier and possibly even a top ten, based purely on what this lady can do.  There wouldn't have been much competition in the 'best female vocalist' stakes and she would have only Leena from Norma John to be compared with in SF1:
As for Armenia's actual entry, there are some positives, mainly in the form of the music which has a nice synth-ethnic quality about it and it gives a pleasant undercurrent to the vocals.  I suppose the staging is interesting too if that is what we will see in Kyiv, bold using black leather outfits and painted faces and some simple dance moves that are very effective.  However the big, big issue is the lyrics and the singing - there isn't much to the words, the song describing how love is like flying and the vocals, although there is nothing wrong with Artsvik at all here, are lacking a major something, a build-up, a climax, anything.  She is capable of so much more, her range is so wide but there has been no attempt to take advantage of that, to use her strengths, to impress us with her voice so we would go "wow, what a singer, that was amazing"...


I feel that this is all a great waste of her talent and a real let-down after the entertaining selection process that was Depi Evratesil.  If Artsvik's strength (her voice) was never going to be utilised fully then, with hindsight, a more 'visual' artist like Marta should have gone to Kyiv.  5.0/10 was all I gave this for the SECHUK jury - after such high hopes, I could see this not making it out of SF1, such a shame.

Oh well, I won't dwell anymore on my major disappointment of 2017 - my number 35 had the clue:


Even down to the Bond theme song and the dress...


35.  Georgia



Were you watching this and then having RLAP barge into your brain?  Or maybe it was most Albanian FiK entries of the last ten years?  How about a Dame Shirley Bassey Bond Theme?  Or annoyingly for me when I have been trying to remember this song when I see the song title, this totally unrelated song:



Unfortunately I much prefer Bon Jovi's song to Georgia's title namesake and I cannot get past this now!  For the sake of Eurovision 2017, I will somehow try...

Now, Georgia's entry - for a start, is Ms.Gachechiladze to be known as Tamara or Tako?  Or are we going to have to put up with jokes about identical twins that are already starting up on social media?  For me, that is one of the only talking points about this song, that and Tamara's (I prefer her real name) hair - she and Laura Prits from Estonia could have a 'hair off':
So much about "Keep The Faith" (the Eurovision one) at the Georgian NF reminds me of the winner from Copenhagen that I could list the similarities off: