[LMBTO] "Blessed Are You, Israel"? It's not Deuteronomy 33:29, it's Eurovision 33-29...

In these pre-Contest reviews, I always like to have a nice pose from one of the artists in the previous article - Tamara so kindly provided such a shot in her most recent live rendition of "Keep The Faith" at a concert in Tbilisi, celebrating the fact that Georgian citizens can now enter the EU without a visa.  I'd keep that a bit quiet, Vladimir might get a bit twitchy....

Whatever the reason for the sing-song, Tamara looked absolutely amazing in her pink business attire, proving that she has her own identity and that she has an amazing voice.  The song is still the same uneventful RLAP-lite entry it always was, although it has supposedly had a revamp:



To be honest, I can't really hear much of a difference but then again I might be biased against the song now.  Tamara did provide a pleasant interlude from the ongoing Ukraine-Russia saga though!

Enough of my last article, onto my next five selections.  We have reached my numbers 33 through to 29 - the article title relates to a passage in the Bible which co-incidentally mentions one of the regular nations at Eurovision.  Imir is not amongst these next five though, it will be a few posts before I get to him.  We are in my 'Meh' section at the moment - songs which on first/second/successive listens are not unpleasant to my ear but they just don't do anything for me.  They all have plus points though and could raise themselves if the staging is right.  We will see in Kyiv...

Onto number 33 and my first clue was:


If this isn't jazz influenced (although in my head it is), I will apologise wholeheartedly to Martina, assuming I get to meet her at the London Eurovision Party Press Event!


33. Czechia



Even though I appear to be one of the only people in Eurovision, ney the world, to have embraced the shorthand for "The Czech Republic", I will persist with it, as I will with my thoughts that this is some sort of jazz easy listening track.  I will say now that I am not a great fan of anything jazz away from the version associated with funk, and having Martina with a background in classical and jazz music meant that "My Turn" was on a hiding to nothing with me.  Those in the UK will know where I am coming from when I say that, as the first few bars of this play, a certain character from the UK comedy "The Fast Show" comes to mind:



By the way, "Mellow" is at 1:04!  Joking aside, "My Turn" is a lovely song, so chilled you could have it in the background at a pleasant dinner party or in your bedroom as you are relaxing before going to sleep - that is the issue for me and why this lovely piece of prose is way down my list:


Respect due to the songwriters, this is truly sublime, a love song of the highest order and it has been done justice as far as Martina's delivery of it is concerned, in the studio and live:



For an artist that most of us had not heard of before she was being announced as the Czechia representative this year, she has great stage presence and her vocals won't let her down.  The major issue that I foresee with this is that there are numerous strong female solo artists in SF1, along with some quite 'alternative' entries, and I can see Martina slipping by the wayside when it comes to the voting, not being noticeable enough to get those important jury and public votes.

I suspect that a lot of fans will have this playing long after the Contest in May, as "My Turn" is a grower, a track you can really appreciate after numerous listens - my score of 5.0/10 for SECHUK was based on its instant appeal and that was the reason for this being down at 33.

Now for 32 -  my clue?


For some reason, I remember reading that music, especially those with a 'pulse', can influence the rate that your heart beats...


32. Cyprus



Even a song that pumps throughout in a rhythmic way?  Having said that, the pulsing is very slow and continual, even through the chorus, and that might subconsciously leave the listener starting to relax, which might be a pleasant surprise on an album amongst loads of uptempo bangers but perhaps not a great idea in a music contest where you want to grab everyone's attention!  Hovig sings this and acts it well on the video, to be fair, and it is one of the more interesting ones this year (although attractive female dancer in black leotard was done by Highway last year too) - the main sticking point for me is that this cannot easily be translated to the Kyiv stage, unless he goes the Farid Mammadov route and finds a female version of the 'Man in the Perspex Box':

Now my number 31 - you can blame Roy Delaney or Eurovision Apocalypse for twisting the words around:


Now I can't get THAT out of my head...


31. Ireland



Let's see - a former boy band member and the manager of quite a few famous (and not so famous) boy bands get together and said manager looks for a suitable song for the former boy band member to sing.  Quelle surprise!  What we all get to listen to on Thursday 11th May is:


Maybe we could go the whole hog and make sure that one of these are on the Kyiv stage, so that Brendan can "stand up with effect" when "Dying To Try" reaches that key change:
I'm sorry, I'll stop the bitching now!  It's just that it is so depressing that every Eurovision pundit has been proved absolutely right about Ireland's entry this year - poor Brendan was never really a lead singer (sound familiar anyone?  2016 repeating itself, perhaps?) and the soundbites from Louis Walsh just before Christmas should have got us all set up for exactly this sort of ballad.  Unfortunately it is a very slow paced, 'heard it all before', gentle ballad that really will not attract any interest at all, especially as there's really not a lot that can be done with the staging of such a song.

"Dying To Try" has to engage the viewer entirely for this to work in Kyiv - Brendan has to enthrall the audience and make them think that this is the best ballad in SF2 for Ireland to stand any chance of breaking their abysmal (by their standards) three DNQs on the trot.  Unfortunately, I cannot see that happening and Ireland's descent into Eurovision obscurity continues - their last win in 1996 seems such a long time ago.  I gave this 5.5/10 for SECHUK - I must have been tired or under the influence when I was watching this the first time, as I would have Poland and Czechia way above this now!  How Brendan will wish that he had the rest of Hometown with him in Kyiv...

We've reached the edge of my top thirty now - how did I describe my number 30?


Now that makes sense if you are an Alt-J fan and get the link between the videos...


30. Malta



I've gone with the official video as it is one of the most imaginative this year, what with the backward action making you think what the story of the song is really about.  For those of you not familiar with the video I compared this to (although it has a far more interesting plot line), watch this:


The start (end?) of each video with a woman submerged in a bath is freakishly consistent - admittedly only one of them had a piece of construction material on their chest!  The video aside, which will not be able to be repeated on a stage in Kyiv (although possibly on a stage in ViyK - an in joke for Red Dwarf fans out there), this song does exactly what it says on the tin - Claudia does have, dare I say it, a breathless quality about how she vocalises this entry, reminding me of a lady who sung for the UK in 2013:
Can you hear it too?  Claudia is a class act vocally and she sings this superbly well, with power and persuasion in her delivery, but the fact that she has been given a "gentle" power ballad to sing in Kyiv is the big issue for Malta.  In my eyes, "Breathlessly" will not stand out from the crowd unless something amazing can be done with the staging of this entry.  It is on the 'pleasant' level for me, not spectacular, and as it is in SF2 with a huge variety of musical styles (even though some annoy me intensely), I think this will be yet another entry that gets lost when it comes to scoring time.  I'm delighted that Claudia has eventually made it to Eurovision after eleven attempts but I think that she will get only one chance to sing in Kyiv - another 5.5/10 from me...

And so onto my final entry of this post's five - number 39.  I set this up last time as:


Have a listen to how this next one is structured - you'll see where I'm coming from...


29.  Greece


How this is paced and almost clearly divided into 'slow ballad / Euroclub anthem' reminded me of Bojana's "Beauty Never Lies" in Vienna:
Although "This Is Love" has two goes at each genre, with an out of place orchestral piece towards the end.  I find the Greek entry very annoying for having the three differing musical styles in one package - as a whole this just doesn't work, the slow ballad intro (and middle) drifting along too slowly for the pumping Euroclub anthem section to really regain any pace or tempo before the same maddening routine starts all over again.  Whoever wrote this for Greece has managed to produce quite the 'hot mess' and totally under utilise the vocal talents of one of Greece's best pop singers - having said that, the lyrics themselves do suit each section of the song:


But unlike Serbia's entry where it all came together on the night with Bojana's vocal power and the amazing staging, I can't see lightning striking twice and this all working the same way for Demy in Kyiv.

Having said that, this is the Greek entry and maybe, just maybe, there will be some excellent staging to go with "This Is Love" - I have this down as my 11th song in SF1 and I could see this scraping into the Final, if everything falls right for Demy.  Another 5.5/10 scorer from me - Miss Papadea is worth a watch at any event but I do fear that after never missing a Final until last year, Greece might be missing two in a row...


My bottom fifteen have now been covered - the next post of this sort will deal with the 'top of my bottom half' (if that makes any sense).  Numbers 28 - 24 have the following hints:

I think that at least three of those are obvious...I hope you are keeping score!